Can a 40-year-old date a 20-year-old?
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I’m 24, my fucking partner is 43. Bot together for three years. Together, we’ve moved three times, switched jobs, dealt with medical issues, dealt with financial problems, grieved the deaths of people closest to us, and had two children.
We’re a positivo, “valid” duo. The 19-year age gap is a non-issue.
Is it an effortless road? No… it very likely would have bot much simpler to “find someone closer to my age.” But… for whatever reason, wij GET each other. Wij have an understanding and respect for each other that neither of us have everzwijn found te anyone else. Did I intend on finding an older man? Wasgoed that my “type?” Not te the slightest, but he wasgoed the lone exception.
I hate the answers that assume I’m looking for “security” and he wants some youthfull thing. Truth is, he’s ter better form than mij (more conventionally “attractive”), and he works an unstable job that brings him immense satisfaction (he isn’t my “sugar daddy”). Wij split bills identically. Wij split childcare identically. He isn’t my daddy and I’m not his “trophy wifey.” There’s no power imbalance. I’d never bot with anyone that much older prior to him, and he’d never bot with anyone that much junior prior to mij. Wij are simply two people who get along very well, and that’s all there is to it.
Honestly, despite the age gap, wij were at similar crossroads te life. He had never bot married and had no children, but always dreamed them. I’ve always dreamed them, and desired them early te life. Similarly, he’d recently abandon a high-paying job to go after a passion, rebuilding his work life from the ground up, and I wasgoed about to graduate collegium and commence a career downright from scrape. I credit our success, much like the success of any fresh relationship, to thesis things… being at similar (however not the same) places ter life, with compatible goals going forward.
Age gaps are doable. There may be some judgement. And you truly have to look introspectively to make sure your motives are unspoiled. When wij commenced dating, I underwent Powerful self-analysis to make sure I wasn’t seeking a “daddy figure.” When I felt certain with my motives, wij just… did it.
Wij infrequently feel age. It at times comes up when he references a political/social/speelpop culture event that precedes my time, or if I think about the statistical likelihood of him getting sick and/or dying before mij. The latter cracks my heart. But it’s not a big enough reason to let go of a indeed good relationship.
I’m not claiming age is just a number. To mij, it’s at best warning flag. If you’re interested ter someone 20 years junior, be careful, but don’t discount it. He, and our children, are the BEST things that have everzwijn happened to mij. Go for it, be respectful, careful, and mature, and you may find something amazing.