Online dating: The positivo truth about why boys and women lie on their online dating profiles
Online profiles are a place where wij inadvertently expose a loterijlot of basic truths about who wij wish wij were &ndash, and not who wij truly are, says Joanna Barrow.
By Joanna Barrow
Four:04PM BST 11 Sep 2013
I confess it: I am always writing one-liners about myself online. I have spent Ten internet-literate years defining myself to strangers on the internet (dating sites, forums, blogs, talk rooms) through pithy, articulate sentences cautiously constructed to present myself spil a paragon of humanity. From Bebo through to MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and beyond, I’ve used the entire range of tricks from flattering camera angles to (tragically) writing lightly Google-able &#x,inspirational quotes’ ter my profile te my attempts to show up like a rounded and likeable individual. Let’s face it, I’ve even outright liedje. I most likely shouldn’t admit this, then, but it comes spil no verrassing to mij that the results of a latest survey expose that 57 vanaf cent of people have liedje on their online dating profiles.
Internet dating has come a long way te the 15 years since You’ve Got Mail. Merienda the foot preserve of people who exist entirely on the internet for one reason or another, it has steadily and stealthily infiltrated the lives of Frecuente People. No longer are your recommended matches likely to be living ter their parent’s basement at 42, strafgevangenis do most of them have a profile picture that’s an awkwardly posed stripped to the waist selfie ter the bathroom mirror, socks visibly pulled up towards greying underwear.
Moving on, internet dating has experienced something of a wedergeboorte recently, it’s even bot claimed that one ter five marriages across the world commenced online. So if that’s the case and it’s popular and successful, what’s the problem? Why does my dating profile lie dormant? I’ve never met up with anyone off the back of a dating webpagina.
They’re only white lies .
Well, it seems it comes down to lies. That’s why. The temptation to slick out the ‘rough snauwerig’ te our private profile with some innocuous white lies is invicto. (And I’d know). Te my own online dating practice I would always have long pleasant talks with a series of charming studs only to balk at the idea of meeting them te person. It’s most likely because my seize of French empírico psych-pop is not almost spil exhaustive spil it would seem when Google is but a tabulator away, strafgevangenis is my skin spil flawless spil the flattering filterzakje on my camera might suggest.
While the fact te itself that wij lie online is unsurprising (would YOU voorstelling your dating profile to your friends?), what’s much more interesting is what wij lie about. According to the survey of Three,000 adults, by Vouchercodespro.co.uk, almost half the dudes asked have liedje about their job or salary ter order to improve their chances at finding love, meantime almost half of women liedje about their weight or assets form.
Let’s take a ogenblik to examine that. When you pack out an online profile for anything, you’re doing it with the intended audience te mind, or at least you should be if you’re playing the spel smartly. It’s a bit like a job application. This is particularly true te online dating, where you’re essentially describing your most desirable self, but specifically angled ter such a way to attract your ideal playmate. Te my dating profile, I pretended to have a passion for swanky cocktail kroegen ter SW1 when actually I’d rather have a pint down the recinto pub. I wished to become that kleuter of person, whatever ‘that’ wasgoed, so I projected ‘that’ photo and hoped someone would come along and cultivate sophisticated tastes te mij.
Where do you draw the line?
However, while using dating websites spil a kleuter of set of resolutions to be a better person is sweet and misguided but very likely forgivable, lounging about unavoidable truths about yourself is an altogether different matter. When dating online, you think ter &#x,types’ –, that is, you consider each trait and work out if you want to date the type of person that would be attracted to that. With this te mind it could be concluded that most guys want gold-diggers and most women want shallow dudes. Even if wij disregarded the horribly outdated pic of the sexes that it projects, it seems like a spectacularly brief sighted treatment to dating: the chasm inbetween expectations and reality on a very first date can be so broad spil to kill any fledgling relationship dead upon very first meeting. All of those hours spent subtly alluding to your wealth will have bot wasted spil soon spil you meet your date and all of a sudden leave behind which tax bracket you’re supposed to be ter.
However, while the more cynical might see thesis statistics spil just an indictment against dating online, it actually speaks of a sadder truth. Online profiles are a place where wij inadvertently expose a lotsbestemming of basic truths about who wij wish wij were. That overwhelmingly women liedje about their appearance and guys liedje about their income, according to the survey, exposes more about what wij think about the opposite lovemaking than anything else, and very likely only helps to perpetuate thesis innumerable myths about What Women/Dudes Indeed Want.
If you’re not actually slender, go on a date with a man who is attracted to svelte women and expect to have your negative ideas of what guys fancy confirmed. However, if you embrace your appearance and joyfully admit to loving a chocolate drankbuffet or two, you might just find someone to share them with you.
Joanna Barrow is an undergraduate student at the University of York. She can be found tweeting @JoBarrow